Friday 1 March 2024

AI, Robot

AI, Robot, from JayHenge now available on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, or, well... all of them, I think.  Inside you'll find my story "How Did They get You?"



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You're here, so surely you know how to do that?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.


  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.
“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).

Monday 26 February 2024

Auntie

"Auntie" - now on Sci Fi shorts.


#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms.

Award-nominated science fiction and slipstream author Robert Bagnall’s second anthology of twenty-four stories, variously bleak, funny, bleakly funny or – very occasionally – optimistic.


  

2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.
“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).


Sunday 4 February 2024

My Thoughts are with You. Your Thoughts are with the Authorities for Calibration Against Societal Norms.


Available from Amazon now.


#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?


2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.
“Brilliant stories, well written!” (five stars, Amazon).

Friday 5 January 2024

End of year report

Having tried over the last few years to submit a story a day, and having both missed and overshot that target, 2023 is the year I managed the magic 365 submissions.  And, yes, there were quite a few ill-thought out scattergun pitches to keep my average up, although I'm grateful for Augur's flexibility over multiple submission in order to land smack bang on target like a cartoon man in a chicken suit.

So, 365 stories went out, and 322 responses came back, 280 straight no's and 27 with something to say although ultimately adding up to 'no' - but 15 acceptances.  At year end, 71 irons remain in the fire, though only two are formally held for further consideration and all but one date from the second half of the year, which suggests not many seeds may sprout in 2024.

But these are the ones that did in 2023:

In January, my maternal horror Wrapped was taken for the Ghost-inspired anthology Tales from the Crypt, which came out in July from October Nights Press.


February saw two acceptances.  The first was for the Air and Nothingness Press' delicately beautiful Gargantua anthology, tales of precisely 1000 words on mega-engineering in space, Shellworlds, Alderson Disks, Dyson Spheres, and the like.  My story, Terminal, which opens the collection, is essentially about an insect-o-cutor.  No, I'm never good at sticking to instructions, am I?  It was published in May.


The second, a weird fiction riff on whether being lucky can ever be an innate talent, was submitted for the The Alchemy Press Book of the Unknown which has subsequently morphed into an anthology called Shadowplays to be released by PS Publishing later this year.

Nothing in March, but three acceptances came in April.  Firstly, the Canadian magazine of the fantastic On Spec took my weird fiction grail quest satire, Knights of the Spherical Table.  They've been sending me copies of their quarterly publication ever since - I hope the free subscription lasts until it's published sometime this year.

Then, Eric Fomley, big cheese of Shacklebound and one of my semi-regular customers, took my flash The Interrogation of Corporal Ng for his second Dread Space anthology.  Being fleet of foot, it came out in May.


At the end of April, Sunrunner, from Third Flatiron's 2022 collection After the Gold Rush, was selected as my fourth appearance in NewCon's Best of British Science Fiction.  I don't know how widely read these are, or whether their held in high esteem by the industry, but I certainly feel a small glow of modestly British pride at having appeared in four of them over just seven years.  It may even mean I'm doing something right.  (I also had immense fun taking part in the online launch, which you can relive on YouTube).



In May, I had two sales in one day.  Well, I say sales: Shacklebound took another story, Lacrymeter, for their Book of Drabbles, with just a free ebook as reward.

Wyldblood then took I Was Just Doing What You Asked for their Wyldflash line, which appeared free and online in June.


I had to wait almost two months for my next sale when 
new website Cosmorama accepted Some of us are Going on a Bear Hunt, a flash.  I haven't been paid and their previously frantic Twitter feed fell silent in September, suggesting it is no more.  I'm still counting it as a sale, though.

Then it was another two sales on the same day in August, but less coincidental this time as they were both reprints being taken for JayHenge anthologies.  2019's How Did They Get You? will appear in AI, Robot; and 2015's Farndale's Revelation will see the light of day again in The Kafka Protocol.


Something slightly different in September when the Delta Literary Arts Society, just south-east of Vancouver, took my flash The Ultimate Vegan Curry to perform.  On stage.  In front of paying punters.  You can see how it went here.


Early October saw Androids and Dragons accept After Abercrombie, which has already been and gone from Page and Spine, published as pretty much their last hurrah in 2022.  I haven't seen a contract for it as yet, so one for me to chase.  But, as I say, it meets my very low bar for a sale.

Late September saw longish fantastika flash Snake being taken by Story Unlikely, but only as a podcast.  It remains out there, looking for the love of a good print (paper or webpage) publisher.

Lastly, mid-November saw an acceptance, like the first of the year, for an anthology based around an artist's music.  Unlike January's Ghost-inspired anthology, I am familiar with the band in question - Nirvana - even if not with Help Me I'm Hungry, the song I associated Science Project, my sci-fi horror with on the basis of title alone.  It'll appear in Bookslayer's Negative Creep anthology later this year.


An odd way to bookend the year, don't you think?

#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?


2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

Tuesday 2 January 2024

Dobro pozhalovat, Comrade January

 

What if numbers really mattered?

Solar explosions known as "The Pulse" have rendered all electronics useless and sent Mankind back to a pre-digital age.

In St Petersburg, Alexi, an aging Russian professor of mathematics with a tragic past, stumbles on two truths: the first, the oppressive regime has been lying to the people, and the second is that, with sufficient energy, reality can be split in two.

Alexi finds himself in a parallel ultra-modern St Petersburg, with the possibility of combining his two separate worlds — and his shattered family.

The Credo of Comrade January, my new novella, published 28 December 2023 by Dragon Gems, available in physical and digital formats from the Dragon Gems website or Amazon.

Happy New Year.

#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?


2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

Monday 25 December 2023

He's making a list, checking it twice

...well, probably not checking it twice, but re-reading the stories shortlisted on Shoreline of Infinity's Flash Fiction competition, of which one of mine has made the final baker's dozen.

Happy Christmas.

#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?


2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.

Monday 11 December 2023

George Lucas, j'accuse

It's been a while since I've pointed a finger at George Lucas, moved it down to get him in your eyeline, and said, "J'accuse".  Okay, maybe it was only September.  Whatever.

Then, my issue was the lack of anything resembling a media presence a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, implying people do not think, act or behave like people actually do in the real world, lacking even a basic sense of curiosity or desire to be informed.  QED the occupants of this galaxy may look human (when they do), but these are really characters we shouldn't expect to be able to relate to.

This posting's charge is one of a lack of proportionality.  If you think that's a bit niche and technical, you may wish to substitute laziness or stupidity, but that's up to you.  Your choice: I'd like to make that clear to Mr Lucas' lawyers.  My charge is lack of proportionality.

What I mean by that is that things that should be quite big, aren't.  Unless being big would be one of the first things on its Tinder profile.  Like the Death Star.  That's big.  Very big. 

Take Mos Eisley Spaceport.  As Ben Kenobi says, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”  I suppose Lucas imagines it a space version of Benjamin Hornigold-era Nassau.  But there was a reason why the Bahamas became the semi-independent Republic of Pirates, a chain of cause and effect, political, social and military, stretching between the Caribbean, England and Spain underpinning what and why that was.  In Hollywood terms, it had a back story.

But, there's no basis for Mos Eisley to be that, so, instead, it's a truck stop, Newport Pagnell services at best.  But, even then, it's not an intermediate point between somewhere and somewhere else, there's no city, no industry for it to support, so why is even there, full of merchants and privateers with at least 94 docking bays?  Okay, you do get bonkers buildings built, seemingly without thought or justification, but they tend to be religious.  Build a church and they will come, whereas a spaceport... build it and it would be destined to be more like Viaduct Petrobas in Brazil.

Even accepting it is what it is and is where it is, it seems to have one (gay? come on, it's a bit gay) bar and a lot of (drunk? stoned?) inhabitants just wandering around aimlessly.  This is the town where Jabba has put a price on Han Solo's head "so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you”.  That's dialogue for when your quarry has disappeared into the void, not moved from the public bar to the saloon bar.  Turns out Greedo, Han, and Jabba are all within a laser-blast of each other.  It does all smack of kids in the playground unthinkingly shouting out what they heard on telly last night.

I could go on - and I have done previously.  A planet is searched for a rebel base as quickly as the Millennium Falcon is searched for stowaways.  Or, continuing the tradition, in Solo, Han finds it incredibly easy to have an audience with the warlord who runs the planet, like my living around the corner from Rishi Sunak, Stella Street-style.

Did I mention the playground?  I'm beginning to think that's hugely important.  Like Stella Street, the underpinning logic of Star Wars falls between the surreal mess of dream logic and the restrictive 'that couldn't happen' of the real world.  Call it playground logic - there's cause and effect, but only in the here and now, what you can see or touch.  Mos Eisley a den of thieves?  Fine, Luke and his friends are in danger!  How did Mos Eisley come to be a den of thieves?  Doesn't matter, and the kids in the playground would just roll their eyes if you pressed the matter and shut you off with a 'who cares?'.  Because it doesn't matter.

I used to think George Lucas was reliving the serials of his youth, like Flash Gordon.  He was born in 1944, the perfect age to be sitting cross-legged in front of the big wheezy thick glass screen watching both the 1930s cinema series syndicated for TV, though possibly a little old for the then newly-minted TV series.  But I don't think Star Wars is him reliving that; otherwise he would have given us Flash Gordon the film.  It's him reliving the next day in the playground, running around, two fingers out-stretched, making laser-blaster noises, shouting out their favourite bits, vicariously being Flash, killing the bad guys and rescuing the dame, and not giving a flying toss about backstory - which, embarrassingly, he had to do with chapters 1 to 3.

Looked at through that lens explains a hell of a lot.

#

Click on the images or search on Amazon.
You're here, so surely you know how to do that?


2084 - The Meschera Bandwidth

2084. The world remains at war.

In the Eurasian desert, twenty-year old Adnan emerges from a coma with memories of a strictly ordered city of steel and glass, and a woman he loved.

The city is the Dome, and the woman... is Adnan's secret to keep.

Adnan learns what the Dome is, and what his role really was within it. He learns why everybody fears the Sickness more than the troopers. And he learns why he is the only one who can stop the war.

Persuaded to re-enter the Dome to implant a virus that will bring the war machine to its knees, the resistance think that Adnan is returning to free the many - but really he wants to free the one.

24 0s & a 2

Twenty-four slipstream stories.  Frequently absurd, often minimifidian, occasionally heroic.